To Be or Not to Be "Engaged"

I received an email from a woman asking the following:

Dear Queen A: I have been dating my boyfriend for six months now and I know he is the one for me. He tells me all the time how he has finally found his soulmate. We have recently discussed marriage but some of my friends think its to soon for us to be discussing marriage. What do you think?
From To Be or Not to Be "Engaged"

My reply:

HELL YEAH, it's to soon to think about marriage. You are still in the infatuation phase of the relationship. I believe before you can really discuss marriage and before you can really know if someone is "the one", you have to go through the four seasons together. You need to take a week long vacation and go through some type of life changing event.(Loss of job, death in the family, etc)Taking all of that into consideration I think you need a good solid year before thinking of getting engaged.

It's also important that when you finally get engaged you discuss with your partner how long before setting a date. That is a VERY big thing us females tend to get a ring and plan a wedding in a week. Make sure you guys are on the same page with all aspects of the relationship.

I hope this helps you out and when you guys finally decide on getting engage please read the following: Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples


Queen A

Setting the standards that are important to you

As I am sitting here wondering why something that is important to me isn't important to someone else. Or better yet why can't they see that it's important. For instance, I believe that in a relationship it is important to take time out for yourself but also to spend time together as a couple. It's a simple concept but why can't I get that across to the people I'm with. Well part of me believes that I haven't set the standard. I haven't made it clear that yes it is important to take time for yourself but that doesn't mean it's only one side. I need my OWN time as well, I shouldn't have to take two kids with me every where I go. It's so bad that now my seven year old thinks when mommy takes a shower he should sit on the bathroom floor and talk...lol.. So I've decide to set the standard and make mandatory mommy day, family night and set up curfews one night a week for grown up time. It's not an easy thing to do but my sanity is banking on it.

Love What is it really???

Love isn't perfect. It isn't a fairytale or a storybook, and it doesn't always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it ... together.

Why men cheat?

After reading why men cheat in Steve Harvey's book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment. I had to do some investigating of my own, I started talking to some womanizing men that I know and ask them the question " Why do men cheat?" and I got the same answer time and time again. They cheat because they can. They cheat because there are so many woman that are willing to lower their standards and cheat with them. Now before everyone starts getting their panties in a bunch, I am by no means excusing men. They should be held responsible for their actions, but remember this ladies what you won't do for your man an another woman will.